immature

 i'm so frustrated about studio. there is no space! all students do is fighting over it, and i dont want to be in that mess. i want to work, i want to paint, but i have no wall to approach, and people around me just keep expropriating the last square inches of the table i have. i understand that foundation student doesn't mean anything to university, cause most of us will leave soon anyway, but how 100 people fit there with their work? impossible

yesterday i visited brighton, today slade, for a first time
i am absolutely inspired of both,
brighton is so cozy, and not only university, city as well. i saw painting studios few times, had a nice chat with some students. all work there seems very diverse, and all of them has a very nice spaces to work, a nice room like corner, with a table and all kinds of interesting stuff on it, i was more stunned by the details than paintings though. interviewers were nice too. and i met them later afterwards, even got an invitation to go to a pub, too bad i had to leave soon X< anyway, all in all, first, i wasn't so sure if i was going to go to interview, but later when i realised that i failed all UAL applications i had no other choice cause leaving only opportunity to get into slade would be stupid.

slade slade slade, the mighty. building is amazing, campus too. and spiral staircase everywhere, like some kind of fairytale. studios are huge, and the guy who toured us seemed like he really loves this place too. and the work, amazing! completely different level, some paintings were bigger than my house! maybe it isn't safe and warm like in brighton, but their work shows that it's a right place to study. the interview was frightening, at least for me, 3 persons in a suits met me, and one squeezed my hand so hart that i forgot to breathe, later i found out that that person was a woman. in general they were nice, asked lots of questions so i didn't have to go with a monologue. the only bad thing was, they asked about some painters i had no idea, bad bad memory of names, damn! that could be really bad. they told me the number of applications. 14000! to how much? 30 places? also they choose only 200 people to interview. i still hope it is possible for me, the only thing that could stand is my work, i'm not so sure about my speech...

anyway, if i had to choose between birghton and slade, of course it would be slade, tho the possibility is really low, if i was left out with brighton only i wouldn't be sad too, it is an amazing place to spend 3 years into, and more relaxed for my nature, however, i'm not so sure what could wait me after that. in the end if i fail both i can go back to my forest and my cat. there is no possibility for me to apply next year, cause of the upcoming fees.

sometimes i want to turn to stone, but i already made such a big way to get to the point i am now, so there's no need to be down.

later i might upload some photos of brighton spaces i took.