i've finished my autumn term and ucas form, i'm happy so rescue me form level-headness and the unnecessary luxury of being calm, aaaaaaah!

right now i'm somehow confused, maybe because i'm tired
in class i paint paint paint, tried to do 3d once again - failed.
again, i just did few fast fast paintings, even my final project took no more than 2h to do (mostly trying to hang it),  fast sketch, fast drying paint, here you are another little work..
can't i work serious?
i get bored to fast, i don't like to push too hard, no struggle, and yet, i think if it's enough? will i go far with my ambitious but easygoing nature?
i don't care about 3D sculptures, i will never do it for my own sake,
but please, tutors, if you read me, help me to improve in painting, drawing and other 2D

It's not meant to be a strife

It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

Oh I

You're trying too hard

Surrender

Give yourself in

You're trying too hard

saacio i liked

=

+ paintings+mess+condoms

Crossroads 2

Over and over I was thinking about my choice during last week. Now I know, but lets make this post worth reading till end, more or less.

During 8 weeks I have embraced areas I have never tried or thought. One of them is visual communication. Before this rotation I have not been paying too much attention to the world around me, adverts, design and so on. Now I see everything, even being on tube or street I find myself thinking how it was made, is it good or no and so on. It is so tiring. On design everything has to make sense. Every little detail has to have its function. This stroked me when I was doing my work. Collages, messages and words intended to make people to understand. Me and other people, with totally different experiences are not communicating too well. I can not know their language. That’s why in this rotation I end up being recondite or too boringly open.

However, all this time till now I was so rustic and always considered my works as illustrations so for 4 years I was sure that I will study illustration one day. I still think about that. I guess it’s just that I am to slow to realise that.

3D spatial is not something I can talk much about. The main problem of 3D is that really is 3D. I was pretty comfortable with observational drawings, I like to draw, but when we came to actual little 3D I faced some troubles. See, I can not create a thing, I destroy it, I am too clumsy and not neat enough to produce something clean and ready to be used, so ” I’m sincerely apologising for all the trouble I have caused”.

Again Fashion and Textiles were not really comforting to me again. I have no idea about fashion and I might be an awful fashion designer, more 3D, more materials, I ended up reading magazine.

In the end Fine Art came. What is it? I had no idea. All work there I see looks so boring to me so snobbish, I was never interested too much in the great names of artists and so on, so there I decided just to let it flow without copying or making tribute to any artist who has walked on this earth and eventually all I did happened the most natural and best way. Though I was scared that paper sheet was just slightly smaller than me and I had only 3 colours to work it still worked nicely and I wasn’t so tense like I was in Fashion or 3D. And the studio felt good, I wanted to stay there as long as possible but then guard came and told me that I was already 20 minutes to long there.

 So my verdict is Fine Art, because is natural, you don’t have to push with force like they do it in design, it happens itself. If not, you can know you’re just not good enough, but I’m taking another risk and if I won’t withdraw form university in next two weeks because of money matters you will definitely see me there.

 the last rotation, what can i say, it's really hard to say something since i'm half watching tv but ok.

compared to other things like 3d, viscom and fashion text it was rather peaceful.
here there was no briefs or they were really minimal so nobody came to me asking how i would explain this or that, so it helps it to happen the most natural way that i like.
hoverer there was some weird situations when i was looking at my picture and having no idea what i was doing and then some tutor comes and starts to say how good is that and then since i have nothing to do i just keep going and thats all - the most natural-complex-simple way.
another thing i liked was how everyone was going crazy there more or less in their own special way.

but i have one big problem about fine art - i have no idea what are these works and usually i dont even like them so i should really think if i really step into area that i have no knowledge about

when i came here i was terrified that university (the one that makes me draw) will take all my inspiration away, but no. i'm inspirated more then ever. dreaming every day, so i'm happy with that, i just terrified to forgot Lithuanian language.

pleasure is all mine

ok, i may be missing school, but i have reasons, and instead of that i'm still working for my own behalf

 

I got extinct with them 

pretty girls and squeres too

mutability

 it's fifth week and tutors keep telling me that i should take fine art, it helps a lot, since i wasn't really decited about the area, well for abut 3 years i was sure that i want illustration, and when i saw how much it depends on client i'm not so clear anymore. fortunately we are having lecture about areas next week,

                                                       YEY, kitties!

Lunatikas

 Hey hey hey, over with 3D spatial, on first week i didn't liked it at all, but second week was better, i started to work a little bit and got some ideas so everything ended quite good, as i marked in that mysterious sheet "better than i expected", and teachers were really helping, they came to ask how i doing so many times..
 aaaand i was at tate modern, got some photos with andy warhol in background, though i don't get half of the art there, i still know the rule that if you are first then you are awesome no matter what you do anyway.
 so there it is, some photos taken with real camera this time

i am grateful grapefruit

 VISCOM two weeks are over, in general after this to weeks i think that is very extroverted area. Adverts, posters and stuff like that who tries to tell something are intruders of mind, sometimes very aggressive. And I'm nothing like that, + I'm an awful designer. Too lazy to use fancy paper, too poor to afford camera and all this sheets we should be printing. Love forever but i\m looking forward to fine art. Yes I'm snobbish.

  

ah yes, taking photos with webcam, how awful is that 

superfast headgehogs

 the first step is hardest of all, isn't it, and I hope as well as first week, intense, productive

staff is great, i like the attitude towards your work in this country, way more different then where i came from
too bad i didn't got any feedback from tutors, maybe later, i hope, i will know if i am right or wrong.

the best thing: i was amazed how much work i can produce in this short of period of time. the whole skechbook? i was doing one for months. so i'm getting more optimistic about my future portfolio.