Friday 26 November 2010

right now i'm somehow confused, maybe because i'm tired
in class i paint paint paint, tried to do 3d once again - failed.
again, i just did few fast fast paintings, even my final project took no more than 2h to do (mostly trying to hang it),  fast sketch, fast drying paint, here you are another little work..
can't i work serious?
i get bored to fast, i don't like to push too hard, no struggle, and yet, i think if it's enough? will i go far with my ambitious but easygoing nature?
i don't care about 3D sculptures, i will never do it for my own sake,
but please, tutors, if you read me, help me to improve in painting, drawing and other 2D

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I

You're trying too hard
Surrender
Give yourself in
You're trying too hard

Monday 22 November 2010

Monday 1 November 2010

Crossroads 2

Over and over I was thinking about my choice during last week. Now I know, but lets make this post worth reading till end, more or less.
During 8 weeks I have embraced areas I have never tried or thought. One of them is visual communication. Before this rotation I have not been paying too much attention to the world around me, adverts, design and so on. Now I see everything, even being on tube or street I find myself thinking how it was made, is it good or no and so on. It is so tiring. On design everything has to make sense. Every little detail has to have its function. This stroked me when I was doing my work. Collages, messages and words intended to make people to understand. Me and other people, with totally different experiences are not communicating too well. I can not know their language. That’s why in this rotation I end up being recondite or too boringly open.
However, all this time till now I was so rustic and always considered my works as illustrations so for 4 years I was sure that I will study illustration one day. I still think about that. I guess it’s just that I am to slow to realise that.
3D spatial is not something I can talk much about. The main problem of 3D is that really is 3D. I was pretty comfortable with observational drawings, I like to draw, but when we came to actual little 3D I faced some troubles. See, I can not create a thing, I destroy it, I am too clumsy and not neat enough to produce something clean and ready to be used, so ” I’m sincerely apologising for all the trouble I have caused”.
Again Fashion and Textiles were not really comforting to me again. I have no idea about fashion and I might be an awful fashion designer, more 3D, more materials, I ended up reading magazine.
In the end Fine Art came. What is it? I had no idea. All work there I see looks so boring to me so snobbish, I was never interested too much in the great names of artists and so on, so there I decided just to let it flow without copying or making tribute to any artist who has walked on this earth and eventually all I did happened the most natural and best way. Though I was scared that paper sheet was just slightly smaller than me and I had only 3 colours to work it still worked nicely and I wasn’t so tense like I was in Fashion or 3D. And the studio felt good, I wanted to stay there as long as possible but then guard came and told me that I was already 20 minutes to long there.
 So my verdict is Fine Art, because is natural, you don’t have to push with force like they do it in design, it happens itself. If not, you can know you’re just not good enough, but I’m taking another risk and if I won’t withdraw form university in next two weeks because of money matters you will definitely see me there.